And it has come to a full circle.

I haven't really written anything that is worth writing lately. It's been months since Erik and I decided to go our seperate ways. Needless to say, life's been VERY busy for me. To condense everything and vaguely describe the recent situation, I am still living in Birmingham, and have Vance during the week. Erik is still in Tuscaloosa finishing up his third year of law school and will move to Atlanta shortly after graduation. This is going to be a new ordeal for me to deal with once he moves. But that will be a bridge that I will cross once I get there. The important thing is, Vance will still get to spend an equal amount of time with us. This is only for a year so it shouldn't be too bad.
This past months, I have to say that I have learned so much about life, myself, people and from this entire experience. I'm thankful for the revelation that I was given through prayers, and it has helped me substantially decide which road to take--and that road is where I am at right now.
The older we get, the more we get to know ourselves. We become more aware of why and what we're really here for.... I only have one life to live and I've realized that I need to start making the best of it. One way to deter fear is to realize you only live once, do not be afraid to take risk.
As the world evolve, things come and go just like everyone and everything else. Relationship is unfortunately the same. Half of marriages ends in divorce in America. A very sad fact. I can't help but to feel very cynical about the matter sometimes. Is our modern society making it too dificult for our generation to have a successful, lasting relationship?... Do we face too much stress on the daily basis? Perhaps stress that's not normal for a modern human being to handle. I question myself this.
As part of this process, I have also learned that in order for us to survive emotionally, you need to alter your expectations when it comes to dealing with relationship (it's not all about your "humanly need")
It was an emotional experience getting married. And now that I'm exiting this commitment, I need to submit my resignation (a.k.a divorce paper) and once that's been decided, there's no point in looking back. Generally speaking, you somehow need to desensitize yourself in order to minimize emotional damage.. Sounds extreme? I think not..
Needless to say, changes can be a stressful process...But regardless, everything needs to be process carefully and logically.
Moving forward with every strength that you have left is important. My son needs me to preserve my strength to take care of him. I have no other choice here but to move forward, learn from this experience, and do whatever is best for me and my son.

I am having to write the above statements to give people a better understanding of where I currently stand. And this plays a huge part of me being able to deal with every situation that I am being given in front of me. For instance, Vance had a birthday party last weekend. Erik and his significant other came. Attended the party, had fun, showed Vance how much he was loved and everyone conducted themselves like a proper adult--which I am thankful for. No need to bicker and be hostile to each other. Some people cannot comprehend my ability to be such a good team player. But the way I look at it, things are progressing to where it should progress. I simply cannot fight or stop it. So what can I do..absolutely nothing BUT be civil and nice.
That being said, I am thankful to god that Erik has found happiness and found a girl that seem to care and love him. This maybe hard to believe but I happen to think she's nice and real. And so far, I see her interact nicely to my son--which is VERY important to me. Because god knows what kind of wickedness I am capable of if I find out that someone has ill intention for my son...
My son is my life, my world and I care so much about this boy. I'll do what's best for him.
So here's some pictures from Vance's birthday party last weekend. I am thankful to those who attended...Have tons of other things to say right now but I really need to go to bed!! I have been wanting to start a blog and tonight, I'm glad I found some time to do so!! Anyway, pictures are at the bottom!